Are those my feet up in front of me?

Life is hectic. Life is nicely paced. I’ve been getting nothing done. I’ve been busy doing everything. I write because I feel like writing, because if I don’t write I don’t exist. That is, if I don’t produce, create, express, then I am just subsisting. In my mouth out my ass and so on until I am dead.

I see your love is
Bold and underlined

You know the one thing you’re fighting to hold
Will be the one thing you’ve got to let go

These little wars in my mind
The ones I always lose
They keep me in my seat
Take me out of the game
I lose by fighting them

I wonder how you give
I wonder how you pray
I wonder how you live
And drive your demons away

Am I hurting anyone by all this?
Who knows.
Is this the evil in the world?
Certainly not.
Am I miserable in it?
Absolutely.

I read Romans recently and I got stuck around chapter 6 or 7. Bummer, a friend of mine said, I didn’t move on to chapter 8, that’s the good stuff. I had another conversation with a friend the other day about the evil in the world, and the evil in a person, and then the evil in me. He was with me on the first two, but when it came to the third I entirely lost him. How could my demons be harming anyone?

Either he is right
And my demons are imaginary
Or they are not
And I am still miserable
Or perhaps they are not imaginary
But less important than I give them credit for
Perhaps they are not the point.