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First Impressions

May 28, 2010 Leave a comment

After many months deep in thought and deliberation I’ve decided this blog needs a makeover. Actually there was very little thought and deliberation involved at all; it was instead a collection of observations over the last year or so that the topics and ruminations I’ve typically explored on this blog over the last two and a half years have been evolving in new ways lately, and the things that I have been pondering seem somehow to fit somewhere other than on brown pages. So – ta da! Or however one announces something on the web without buying banner ads. Welcome to the revision of a hundred visions and revisions. If you follow this blog in a reader or email, come to the website and look around.

I started this blog with a goal in mind – to explore the process of finding community and faith in a new city and cultural setting, and document how that complexity and chaos was affecting my ideas on church and faith and God. I titled the blog somewhat haphazardly after a line in one of my favorite poems, since I liked the idea of visions and revisions in the context of reflective blogging. It took on a bit more significance as I went along though, as I came to terms with the visions I had brought to Cincinnati and the revisions they underwent here. Over the past year it’s become more clear that in many ways the eras of my life are transitioning, and the struggles and frustrations of adapting to a new city and (sub)culture are giving way to stability and some semblance of plans and productivity. The chaos and morosity that marked my first five years here haven’t seemed consistent with the approach to life I’ve taken lately.

My first thought was to abandon the blog altogether and start fresh in some unexplored corner of the internets, perhaps linking back to here. I’ve written elsewhere about my tendency to move on from situations or relationships, for better and for worse. And it would perhaps be fitting in this case, for reasons I’ve already described. But when I looked again at the blog I noticed the subtitle, which I haven’t paid much attention to over the years: “a life of faith worked out in the real world.” That, I think, still holds true for what I intend to write in the future. I’m certainly not finished processing my faith and how it plays out in my life, not by a long shot. And perhaps it would be disingenuous in a way to leave behind the chunk of my process that got me from where I used to be to where I am now.

It’s good news, I suppose, that this blog as it has been no longer suits me. I’m not so dismal and angsted these days (if that were a word). I wouldn’t call myself a disenfranchised Christian anymore either, though I’m not sure I’d call myself franchised, or whatever the undoing of the former would be. I’m part of something again in any case, both in my own life and in the community of faith I’ve ended up in. And on the other hand I don’t intend any of this to mean that I’m fine now, that all my former questions have been answered and I’ve moved on to new ones, or in any way that I have anything figured out. At all. Really. I am only recognizing that the space I am processing all these things in has changed, inside and out, and largely for the better.