Amber and I have been spending quite a bit of time with some new friends recently, and the more we get to know them and get known by them the more full up my heart feels. It’s a wonderful thing, something I haven’t felt in a very long time – at least four years, since before we decided to move to Cincinnati. In some ways it feels like the time is being redeemed – though forests of disappointents confusion and questions that have sprung up over these years have yet to be macheted through.
I’ve been reading and writing thoughtful emails again, which has made me want to write more. And I’ve said that before on this blog, so I can’t promise anything. But I’ve been doing something I haven’t done in a long time – examining my own thoughts and feelings with an openness to perhaps having been wrong about some things, and in the process uncovering great stuff, like the full-heartedness that’s been growing, and some uglier stuff, like prejudices and fears that have kept me from seeing many people I meet as they truly are.
Trouble with my blogging habit thus far is that I’m so dang self-censoring. I edit my thoughts as I think them, I edit my sentences before I get halfway through them, and I edit my words as soon as I speak them. (See I’ve already come back and edited this post even though I just posted it.) By the time a thought gets to an idea which I compose into words that actually make it onto this blog it’s the prose equivalent of a pop song focus-grouped into meaninglessness. Well OK, that’s not really how I feel about (most of) the entries on this blog, but you get the idea.
I like this reawakening thing. I’m living an examined life once again, and it feels more worth living.
I’ve been working in the video production industry for oh, six or eight years now, depending on what you count as working, and for the first time someone just said to me “Break a Leg” as a well-wishing while walking out of my edit suite.
Seriously? Break a leg? That’s what you tell actors, so I hear, or someone else in this industry besides the video editor. I suppose people pull out their best industry-speak when they’re here. Earlier this week a client told one of the other editors here, “Thank you Mister Man.”
1. Facebook. When I first got on Facebook in August it was the coolest thing to happen to the internet since AOL. And I’m talking 1994 not 1998 AOL. I was adding apps, finding friends, updating my status and my personal info, and loving it. At some point however, I found pretty much all my friends on Facebook, wrote all I wanted about myself and my hobbies, and realized all but three or four of the Facebook apps out there are crap. (I still get unsolicited ducks thrown at me for example). Now my facebook use is pretty much restricted to updating my status from time to time, and playing Scrabble and Boggle here and there.
2. Prolific. The Facebook app name for the aforementioned Boggle habit. Play others online, raise your rating and make no friends or useful progress in life whatsoever. Pretty darn fun. There’s an annoying cut-off, however, once your rating tops 1300 and you’re no longer allowed to play the farm league games. My rating has been floating right around 1320 or so, which means everyone I play with now is better than me. Which makes me feel dumb. But I still play it.
3. Realtors. Do they teach you guilt-tripping in realtor school as an acceptable way to persuade your clients? In buying our house we switched realtors once and went back and forth a few times before deciding on financing, and between the two of us we got guilt tripped and/or told off three times. Hello? I’m sorry, were you trying to retain my business?
5. 841.64 GB. The amount of video on the Avid pertaining to the project I’m currently working on for a museum touchscreen installation. That’s 21,041 of the 40MB Apple computers we had when I was in 10th grade, or 8,417 100MB ZIP discs that were so popular once upon a time.